Boundaries

“Sure, I’ll be happy to do it,” the words came out of my mouth even as my heart sank. I didn’t have time to do one more thing. I was barely keeping up with the two-hundred things I was already committed to doing. Sighing deeply, I turned away wondering once again, “Why do I do this to myself?”

Why do we live to please others? Like a chemical addiction, lowering our boundaries to please others offers a temporary high, but the crash quickly follows and leaves us craving even more. Living without boundaries is a bottomless pit.

Don’t be fooled. Making all others happy, all the time, may masquerade as servanthood but more likely it is that we need others to help us feel important. When people call our name, dial our number, depend on us, our self-esteem briefly soars, our outer persona is fed and our ego stroked. Yes, in the short run, people-pleasing gives us a rush but long-term it leaves our inner man starving for more.

The good news is this: you are important. God loves you more than you know. When you draw life and meaning from His love, you won’t have wrest it from others. God-pleasers need people less and love them more. Boundaries set the stage for a genuine, Christ-like love.

Recognize the Lie – Satan’s lie is this:

• I must please all other people all the time.


• It is important that people like me.


• It is my job to make others happy.

But God says, “The fear of human opinion disables; trusting in God protects you from that” Proverbs 29:25.

Renew Your Mind –

Why work hard for what you already have? You are important. You are loved. You are precious in God’s eyes. Feast on these truths, “…then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is” Ephesians 3:17-18.

Rehearse –

Saturate yourself with God’s love. Sing His precious truths again and again, “Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so.”

Drink deeply at the fountain of God’s love and leave refreshed to love others wisely and well.